When it comes to playing it safe, no one backtracks like A-B. Anheuser-Busch should stick to light beer and talking lizards.Īesthetics: While it once had a large evil snake menacing the potential buyer from the label, it now has a little baby snake almost shyly pouting near the bottom of the slick corporate facade. This is what you buy for your little brother to get him back for hassling you. Comes on like Evian and finishes like tap water. Malt liquor for people who don’t like the taste of malt liquor, this imposter is nothing more than slightly cranked-up Busch in a bigger bottle. The current producer of the controversial malt liquor, Hornell Brewing, continues to fight the lawsuit and crank out the forties.Īlcohol Content: 5.9% AKA: The Snake, King Konk, King Krap Rep: Poser brew for junior high school fools. Heileman Brewing Company, one of the early brewers of Crazy Horse, settled a lawsuit with a group of Native Americans by apologizing and compensating them with seven race horses, 32 Pendleton blankets, braids of tobacco and sweet grass. Trivia: “In compensation for this insult and defamation to the spirit of Crazy Horse,” G. And they make sure you know it’s the “Original” Crazy Horse Malt Liquor. Personally, we think the chief should be proud.Īesthetics: Crazy Horse used to have the kookiest bottle in malt liquordom, bringing to mind an AriZona Ice Tea bottle (which turns out to be a sister company.) The current incarnation is more conventional, but no less controversial: There’s a picture of the chief and assorted hatchets and other Native American symbolism. It may court controversy with its name, but there’s nothing contentious about how it goes down: smooth, slightly fruity with an extremely clean, almost zinfandel finish that holds together all the way to the dregs of the bottle. Rep: The politically incorrect powerhouse. Trivia: The true grandaddy of malt liquors, Country Club was the first successful malt liquor in America.Īlcohol Content: ? AKA: Hoss, Crazy H. It includes the international symbol for booze, XXX, wearing a little crown. Light, creamy, clean finishing and sophisticated, you can drink this malt all night and wake up feeling like a goddamn prince.Īesthetics: The label looks like it hasn’t been reworked since the ‘50s and probably hasn’t. Though consistently abused as the perfectly average malt liquor, we found CC to be a diamond in the rough. 45 pistol.Īlcohol Content: ? AKA: CC, The Club Rep: The mysterious lost dauphin of forties. 45 has always been careful to never show a gun in their advertising, so they won’t be sued by Colt Firearms, maker of the famed Colt. Trivia: Though it’s militant moniker refers to the fact it once came in a 45 ounce bottle and gives a bigger “bang” for the buck, Colt. This is what the President of MADD suspects malt liquor tastes like and if you want to experience the dark side of malt liquor, jump on this evil bronco.Īesthetics: The label has changed very little since it hit the market in the 60s, and why should it? To some people it’s as recognizable and comforting as Aunt Jemima. “Works every time,” as Billy Dee Williams liked to say, but works at doing what? Notorious for green batches, three different samples revealed the same result: flat, skunky and raw. Colt 45Īlcohol Content: 5.61% AKA: Billy Dog, Billy D Juice. That’s right, baby, we’re talking malt liquor. Activist groups say it causes violence, yuppies say it tastes like poison, experienced users know it dishes out mule-kick hangovers. Named after large man-killing animals and high-powered firearms. Served up in a big bottle that hangs in your hand like a blackjack. The brew from the bad part of town, the staple of gangstas and punk rockers, barrios and trailer parks. The beer so strong they don’t even call it beer - they call it liquor.
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